Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Yuletide Season

So what if it's not fabulous? So what if I didn't get my PSP or Ipod or Prada Bag? So what if nobody texted you at exactly twelve midnight on Christmas Eve? So what if ninongs and ninangs hid their faces the moment they saw you at the reunion? So what?

So what is important? Is it me or HIM?

He who was born to die for me?

Celebrate for the real cause. Not SANTAmas, not GIFTmas, not REUNIONmas, not HANDAANmas. It's CHRISTmas.

Happy Holidays! =)

What is a Normal Family?

In children's textbooks it is defined as Father, Mother and Child.

I refuse to adhere to that thinking. It is a social norm that a family should be composed as such. A social norm is not a natural law, but rather a common instance, so much that it is considered as such. But this should not be so. A family is simply a group of people who live and love under the same roof. That's all there is to it.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Small Talks

All of us, at one point or another, experienced a small talk. Probably while waiting in line for the dentist, to escape the silence of an awkward meeting at an MRT Station, or being stuck with an acquaintance at the dinner table while everyone else went on the dance floor.

Small talks are only surfaces of who we are. If I shall compare it to Baseball, it only makes up Base number 1. Anti-socials avoid it, extroverts make the best of it. Our ability to engage in small talks defines our probability to link ourselves to the world. Small talks are made for formality's purposes, a law of nature unsaid but should be simultaneously done. Where do I live? Is that near the..what was that again? Oh, so you go there? Where you do work/study? oh, okay. What's your name again? I'm this and that by the way.

Insignificant and pointless at first. Little do we know that they are like mortar bricks, ready to build relationships with people. Small talk shapes human culture, and strengthens our chains of interrelatedness and dependability with one another. Small talks make a "small world".

Mister Professor

A sarcastic tune, a jaded voice
Echoes loud in your every word.

Your face seems weary, you seem tired
And you look at the world
As if no one cares.

I'm intrigued by your aura
Inspired by your writings
And how you cherish people
In your life.

But one thing I'll never be
Is to be oblivious with what I see.
A mask as transparent as glass.

Your passion with what you do
Is almost consumed.
Yet you decide to move on with life,
because it's what you hold on to.

It's as if life for you is beautiful
If things turned out better,
Only that it did not.
I will it does for you.

I can't explain this fondness
In your character.
I wish I can meet a man my age
Who can think and act like you.

Twelve Thirty

My nape touched the pillow,
And my eyes came to rest,
To see the green stars,
Glow above my head.

Everything seemed usual, orderly
And yet there's something I feel
Every twelve thirty.

A distant karaoke hums a love tune,
Its faint melody sank in my mind.

A motorcycle, a van, passing swiftly,
The cold air at the tips of my toes,
And the coconut leaves that swayed.

The loud ticking of the clock,
The face of my bears caressed
By the yellow light.

In these moments I feel
That life is fleeting,
And tomorrow won't be the same.

In these moments I feel
A sense of completeness,
Yet a hollow space longing
A dream for my future.

I close my eyes once more
And whisper a prayer in my mind.

Tomorrow is a gift
And each day is beautiful and complete,
As long as I keep on trusting, hoping,
Believing,
That someday, somehow
All my plight will cease,

Because His open eye and loving arms
is my constant peace.

I close my eyes once more,
And it's one o'clock.

Fussy relationships

"HuNnIeH_18_BhezZie"

"I_luV_mAh_BooH_14"

"AsAwa_c0H#28"

"TEddYBeAr<3_08"

What's with all these fancy toggle caps and "favorite" numbers supposedly to mark a monthsary of a couple?

How do teenagers define a relationship these days? Relationships are equally valued as 'accessories' these days. You know, those things to get you through your loneliness--someone to hold hands with, someone to cuddle and kiss, someone to text you goodnight, someone to dine out or watch a movie with, to feature in your Friendster profile, et cetera--but as I come to think of it, do we really need these things?

It's so sad that people find themselves as slaves of some unnecessary fuss. If your boyfriend is cheating on you and you put up with everything just so he won't leave you, isn't it time to leave room for yourself? Who is he to take control of your life? He isn't God.

And you, why are you crying over someone who's not even worth your tears? Take pride in who you are as an individual. You can be complete without anyone in your life. You don't need to cry, don't need to beg, don't need to plead. In your heart there is a void, but you're filling it up with the wrong need.

Who made you? Who knew you well enough? Who loved you completely? Shouldn't that be the One deserving of your tears? Of your deeds? Of your achievements? Of your love? Shouldn't that be God?

It's about time that young people should take a deeper look on what they should really search for.

I don't need fussy relationships. I don't need people who only desire the shallow part of me. If God never gives me someone who can grasp the ideals of genuine love that surpasses the romance and the tangible things, then so be it. He has bigger plans. Bigger, better, more beautiful plans.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I'm Angered Beyond My Wits

Today I'm so effin' angered and I feel like something's boiling inside of me. I lost my notebook for three consecutive subjects. I've written a lot and most probably my classmates would refuse to help me out here. Heck, I don't even know if it's lost or if somebody took it. I just feel like my head is so hot and nothing can make me happy at least for the next hours there is until my problem is solved. I'm so angered to the point that I wanted to curse but then..

I hate losing things. I HATE IT.

My Dream

I wish I can see God.

I wish I can see how He smiles when I praise Him.

I wish He can hug me when times get low.

I wish He can wake me up on a lazy review session.

I wish He was on the phone and I'd be telling Him my secrets.

I wish He can join me while I buy my groceries.

I wish He can eat pizza with me.

I wish I can touch Him and see Him face to face.

I wish.


"What is essential is invisible to the eye."

What to blog, what to blog

It has been a common trend for me to post new entries usually very late at night, or in this case, thirty minutes after midnight. So I'm scared. I don't have much thought and inspiration as of now. Maybe I'll try to write tomorrow or some other time.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Stuff

Today I feel so freakin tired. I haven't taken a bath since morning and one of my French tips chapped off. My back feels prickly and I feel like I've exhausted every single calorie there is in my system. But anyways that doesn't make me depressed. I just feel tired, and I'm looking forward for tomorrow. I just finished our map activity for Geog1, meaning you have to map out the whole Academic Oval Inner loop of Diliman (So that took me a walk of 4.4 km last Thursday and an accidental slip in front of Oblation himself), and my completion (finally) of 36 shots for my Photography class. Yuck this is all I talk about now, dork dork dork. This is so not me when I was in high school.

I don't feel like talking to anyone right now outside of my home unless I feel like it's something urgent. I just don't feel like sharing my life with some random person right now. If there's D-group, that would be the only time I'm sharing what's up with me. Somehow this feeling reminded me of phrase said to me a few months ago. It went something like,

"Ewan ko... hindi ko alam... baka pagsisihan ko... baka hindi... ewan ko lang..."

Same thing, I don't know if I will regret this aloofness or not. It doesn't matter right now. I don't want to think about other things except that I want to study and I'm serious about transferring to Manila. It is my own idea, and my own decision. I want to study there and I don't care if the campus is not as grandiose as Diliman. Yesterday, my mom and I went there, and it was all I expected it to be: urban, definite, short-distanced, enclosed. Apart from that, you'll also see street kids. You'll see poverty face to face. You'll see the other side of society. Yup, that's Manila.