I want to have a friend

who can learn to appreciate me for me.

who is willing to stick up for me.

whom I can share my deepest thoughts without judging me.

who can just be there for me during my darkest and brightest moments.

who can love me not because of what I can do for him or her, but because of who I am in his or her life.

who can turn down things for the sake of our friendship.

who loves God more than anybody else.

who can tell me it's alright after a suckish performance.

who makes me feel special.

who does not give a darn on what I look on the exterior or how popular I am.

who is willing to reply at 12 midnight just to hear about my problem.

who is willing to watch a lame movie with me.

who makes me feel special and somehow...cared for.

who can be sensitive with how I feel.

A selfish wish....but I want that friend.

Stories (for the moment)

Hi! It's been a long week. Anyways, to my fans (haha)...no seriously it's been a week for me. I have lots of stories I'm friggin' ready to share this so-far-not-so-secret blog of mine.

First day of classes

Whew! ANG INET! My two words. >_< Haha. I still had the motivation to go to school. And that was because I was looking forward in the routine again. Well, hopefully I won't get burned out. I will really start doing better this year and I will try to change my perception in school. Hey, it's not just another day to go through. Each hour that passes by lends a portion of knowledge to my yet-to-mature mind.

Melvin's Dad
Well, as all of RMM know, Melvin's dad passed away Thursday last week, a day after his birthday. He was suffering from the final stage of brain cancer, and I have no idea how painful this suffering might be, both to his family and himself. I have never experienced to have someone dear to my heart part from me just like that at such a young age... and I don't know what or how Melvin is going through right now. I hope he's doing fine. Gab, Tin, and I prayed with him during the wake. And we mentioned something about trusting in His plan though we do not know the reason why things happen the way they are; undone as they might seem. But when we hold on tighter to that rope, sooner or later we will realize that it has brought us in the right path. I hope he heard this words. Hay. I just want to comfort people so much. Too many are suffering in this world and they have no idea how much God wanted to tell them about His love. There's still so many who's aching to be reached out; and I'm glad I was able to. For at least one person, a classmate whose been a good friend of mine. Hope you're okay Mel!! :)

Purpose-Driven Life Book
Friday, we were supposed to have our homeroom session, but I was practically surprised by what out principal provided us with. She gave us this Purpose-Driven life book, with the hard bound journal. I can't imagine of all the books, of all the schools, and of all the batches, why in the world would we have this thing going on? Besides that, we are going to have out break-out groups in school. Wala lang. I can't just imagine how God works amazingly in our lives, especially those times I weakly prayed for my classmates. I'm just so happy that this program will go through as a part of our curriculum! :D I hope it will plant a seed of faith in their hearts 0:) GAH! God is so galing talaga...consider our school as a non-secular!! I can't believe it...basta. I've never actually thought this could happen! I'm so in shock. o_O

And...besides that, since it's after camp and we got a week to rest, our dance and d-groups will finally start. I want to start over na ulit. I want to get rid of my struggles and be happy for what I have for the moment. :D

I know I shouldn't be feeling this at all...

*inspired by a blog post from my friend*

But I do. Yea I do. Sometimes, I do feel lonely. Especially when I hear those sad acoustic love songs. They say you don't need a man to feel complete, but sometimes, that desire aches so badly in a girl's heart like me though she denies that she longs for it.

I do. I have someone in my mind right now. But who am I to even dream? I can't even utter a sensible word when he's around. Who am I to even dream being with him, or, if possible, being friends with him? My mind has always told me to just let it pass and let things happen, but my heart has always been there, staying there, in the hopes of getting close to that someone--in time.

In time. How long has this phrase been with me? It's been molding in my list of mottos and the process of keeping it hurts me more and more. How long shall I wait? I need that answer soon. I keep myself busy. I do. But being busy didn't keep me from thinking of being with someone who would care for me as much as I would care for them. Maybe, just maybe, a guy.

A guy who thinks I'm still beautiful if I wore a loose shirt with no make-up on. A guy who would fetch me from school and take me home knowing that it's signal number three. A guy who would eat street food with me. You get the idea.

But it's just a dream. They are just mere thoughts--nice to think about; but they never really happen soon. I had my experiences from people in the past, and as much as I want to regret them, I never would. I have learned a lot from them, in so many ways. I NEVER want to commit that same mistake with new people in my life, I just want to lift up all my questions to God as of now. I can wait... I can still wait.