I know I shouldn't be feeling this at all...

*inspired by a blog post from my friend*

But I do. Yea I do. Sometimes, I do feel lonely. Especially when I hear those sad acoustic love songs. They say you don't need a man to feel complete, but sometimes, that desire aches so badly in a girl's heart like me though she denies that she longs for it.

I do. I have someone in my mind right now. But who am I to even dream? I can't even utter a sensible word when he's around. Who am I to even dream being with him, or, if possible, being friends with him? My mind has always told me to just let it pass and let things happen, but my heart has always been there, staying there, in the hopes of getting close to that someone--in time.

In time. How long has this phrase been with me? It's been molding in my list of mottos and the process of keeping it hurts me more and more. How long shall I wait? I need that answer soon. I keep myself busy. I do. But being busy didn't keep me from thinking of being with someone who would care for me as much as I would care for them. Maybe, just maybe, a guy.

A guy who thinks I'm still beautiful if I wore a loose shirt with no make-up on. A guy who would fetch me from school and take me home knowing that it's signal number three. A guy who would eat street food with me. You get the idea.

But it's just a dream. They are just mere thoughts--nice to think about; but they never really happen soon. I had my experiences from people in the past, and as much as I want to regret them, I never would. I have learned a lot from them, in so many ways. I NEVER want to commit that same mistake with new people in my life, I just want to lift up all my questions to God as of now. I can wait... I can still wait.