Dumbfounded

Hay nako nako nako. I just found out something today. I was browsing through the updated Friendster pages in my account and I was really in shock. Or am I?

I thought I won't see anyone who's in Diliman there in Manila.
A clean slate. New faces. New circumstances.
But I just found out something.

Mister Ex-crush is going to Med school in UP Manila. Yes, the one I talked about in "Just a Boy". What a coincidence.

..And so? Yeah. So what? Is it worth caring about? I don't know. It's not like I'm gonna like him again. But why did I bother making this pointless post? I'm so confused. It's like there's this bit of me that still looks up to him even if he has a girlfriend... and there's also a bit of me that still look up to that other guy whom I admired since I was like, 14. It's like when it comes to these two guys, it never came to a point where there's closure because they are just those guys who are so close to my ideal. I like them, but they don't bother me that much. I look up to them because I like who they are.

But, "looking up to" someone doesn't mean anything diba? It's just plain admiration. Right? Right. Wala lang. Even though he doesn't know me, and he won't care, I just wish him the best.