Forgiveness from a friend

I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago and now I finally have the chance to write about it. It is about a friend, whom I ask forgiveness for.

I have a number of people that surround me in my daily environment. I say 'hi' to them and they say 'hi' to me back. I have a lot of friends that I give gifts during Christmas. I have a lot of friends that greet me at my birthday. But when it comes to the real me, I have only about three or four persons I share my life with. They are the people I am most comfortable with. They are my best friends. We share giggles together. We share kilig moments together. We had the best and worst of times, and we had our differences pile up between us. But that didn't stop us to share things with each other. We might argue, but after a while, our frowns are erased and we come back together.

Before I stepped into highschool, I had such a wonderful bestfriend. Up to now I still treasure the stationeries she sent to me personally. I still remember the first time we talked, the first time she knew my crush and I knew hers. We happen to like the same boy. We would walk around the corridor, laugh at the same stuff over and over again, and talk about our special "boy". Before we knew it, we were best friends. Because of our super closeness to each other, some people typecasted us as kambal. But I know she was different from me. She gets more attention than I, and she every guy in school seemed to go crazy for her. She was downright pretty, and people praise her for that. This didn't bother me a lot before, because I don't really care as long as I am important to her and she is important to me.

Not until the time I found out that our crush liked her. I felt so sad and insecure. I began to compare myself to her, and I felt so less than she is. Then I began to feel bitter when people tease her to the boy. I was secretly angry with her. Was it her fault? No. It was my envy. I envied her because she was the chosen one. I envied her because everybody liked her. I envied her because she was shining more even when the two of us walked along the hall.

At the end of elementary year I stopped liking the boy. And it was one of my biggest regrets when I detached myself from my best friend whom have known me for two years straight. I detached from her because I found out that she still likes the boy and the boy likes her. And because I was bitter to her, I went away and hung out with everybody else.

And now that the crushes have faded, the boy doesn't seem to be that important to me anymore. I let go of something even more special. And that was my friendship to her. Just because of my selfishness, I ruined something that could've been a meaningful thing to me. She transferred schools after grade 6, and I don't talk to her anymore. My message for her:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the things I did, and all the things that caused me to hurt you. I hurt you because I was so envious that you had everything I want. And now that I don't like him anymore, I felt that I lost more. I lost what could have been a wonderful memory for both of us. I hope just forgive me. Alam mo naman siguro na ganun lang talaga ako. I'm not perfect. I don't know. Di ko kasi maeexpress to sayo ng personal. Di ko rin to masasabi sayo sa pagmessage ko sa friendster dahil masyadong "baduy" or "cheesy". I hope that someone will send you a sign to just let you in this site to read this. Ahh...sorry kung nagigi na akong masyadong senti, kasi naguiguilty lang talaga ako sa mga pinaggagawa ko sayo dati. Kaya ko lang naman ginawa yun kasi inggit ako sayo. Kahit wala ka na sa school, ok lang. Sana masaya ka na rin dyan. Sana meron ka na rin best friend na di ka kaiinggitan pag ikaw pinili sa inyong dalawa. Di ko na crush yun. Di na rin big deal yun sakin. Who cares? Tapos na lahat yun. Hahahaha!!! ANG CORNY KO GRABE........ang drama ko talaga. Pero ok lang, at least nalaman mo na. Sorry talaga. Sorry Judith...